Issue #48: New Beginnings
Questions to help reflect on the previous year and how to set good resolutions
Dear mental health advocate,
Happy New Year! I hope the change to 2024 brought you a moment of self-reflection and good times. As we are in a new year, I want to talk to you about several things in this free edition of The Present Psychologist Paper. There are questions you can ask yourself to understand better how you feel about the last year. And if you want to look ahead, I am giving some tips on how to set resolutions. Want to find out more? Keep on reading!
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New Beginnings
It’s 2024. For me (and many others of course), always a good time to reflect on both the previous and the coming year. When you think about it, you realize how strange it actually is. It’s just another day, but it feels like a whole new chapter in a way. Interesting how the mind works, right? A new year for me mostly means thinking about the struggles I have faced, the challenges I have overcome and how I grew as a person. Next to this, I try to wonder about the future. Reassess my priorities and see if anything should ideally change. Career, relationships, finances, health, diet. It is important to keep some self-reflection around.
There are always some questions that I try to ask myself that could be helpful with understanding myself and my life path. These are meant to stimulate my brain and introspect properly. I dare you to use these questions for yourself too. They are sometimes uncomfortable, but necessary to learn and heal. It’s all voluntary!
What was the biggest highlight for you last year?
What was the most painful thing that happened?
How did you grow as a person?
What would you liked to have done differently?
Who entered your life that you are grateful for and why?
Who left your life and what kind of impact did that have?
Are you happy with your career/work/volunteering? If so or if not, why?
Which decisions were important?
Which relationships did you invest in and which ones you didn’t?
How was your mental health? What changed it?
What would you like to happen the coming year?
Do you have any goals that failed last year and that you want to try again?
If you are completely honest, what are you telling yourself that might not be true?
What are your most important values in life right now?
I try to write down the answers to these questions and compare them year on year to see what changed. It can be very enlightening to see how things are different. See it as a diary entry. Your memory is not the same as actually having it written down on paper!
Resolutions
As a new year has started, it has probably led to some of you to make resolutions. These are clear goals that indicate a certain mission. It is an admirable thing to do, although it should be kept in mind that these resolutions should not be too complicated or too many at once. If you have created a few, it would be good to apply several rules and ensure they will be achievable. You do not want to set yourself up for failure! So, if you do it, then do it in a way that will work for you. Don’t just create a resolution like ‘I want to be in a better financial situation’ or ‘I want to lose weight’. Do it properly. Want to know how? Here are some tips:
Stay positive. Don’t let a misstep make you believe you cannot do it. Try to talk back to your inner critic that keeps on attacking your confidence. If you believe in yourself and if you can stay positive, it is easier to reach those goals you set.
Pick a resolution that motivates you. If you try and make a resolution about something you absolutely hate doing or which will not push you, then chances are high it will be difficult to succeed. It really has to be important to you and preferably align with your dreams and ambitions in life.
Do not create too many. If you are planning on improving your life, that is great. But do not make huge lists of everything that you want to change. A long list makes it not only harder to commit, but it will also make it harder to manage.
List these resolutions somewhere. Don’t keep these goals only in your head. Instead, write them down on a whiteboard, in your notes app or another location that makes it easy to check. If you do, it makes your new year resolutions more tangible and easier to commit to. Also, it can serve as a reminder why you want to do these resolutions in the first place.
Make specific and small resolutions. If you want to be successful with resolutions, it would be best to work them out in detail. For example, keep the resolution as a one year goal, but break it down into a few smaller goals and write down how to achieve them. If your goal is to have a better financial situation (year goal), have smaller milestones listed like creating monthly budget overviews and/or ‘save X amount per month’ (monthly goals). Specific and smaller goals are easier to achieve.
Review your resolutions and progress regularly. Every goal has a journey towards attaining it, but it likely is not a linear progress. You might have setbacks, failures, moments where you forget or just do not have the energy. That is fine. Just keep track and try again next time. Readjust your goals if you have to.
Get help from other people. It is way easier to succeed with a new year resolution when there is support or when someone close to you is involved. Really want to exercise more? Go with a friend to that spin class or take walks outside in nature with a loved one. It is less lonely and there is more incentive to actually commit.
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My name is Alf Lokkertsen and I am a psychologist and writer, creating mental health content for you. My passion is to raise awareness about topics related to psychology, as it has helped me greatly in my personal life. I strongly believe that many problems could be avoided or dealt with better if everyone had some in-depth psychology knowledge.
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