Issue #42: The Limits of Self-Care
Learn why you have to be cautious with self-help and how to treat self-care information online
Dear mental health advocate,
Do you always listen to advice you read online about self-care? Or do you read many self-help books? Not to worry, this can be useful. But, you have to be cautious with it. In this free edition of The Present Psychologist Paper I will discuss why the self-help movement has it advantages, but also its limits. Keep on reading to find out more!
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The Limits of Self-Care
As a psychologist who is active on social media to share mental health education and insights about psychology, I often struggle with the topics of self-help and self-care. Writing about ‘ten ways to identify anxious thoughts’ is a useful way to create awareness about anxiety, but it should not work as a substitute for an actual diagnosis by a mental health professional. I know I’ve received critical responses every now and then about promoting self-diagnosis and enabling people who are trying to come off as a psychologist without actual accreditation. It’s a challenging balance. On one hand I am trying to raise awareness about topics on ways people can learn about psychology and apply certain things in their own life to improve their mental health, on the other hand I want to preserve and protect psychology as a science.
This is not to say that self-care in itself is not useful. There is a reason why self-help books are incredibly popular and the online psychology movement is still growing. People are busy, they often do not have the time for therapy, are scared to talk to a professional or do not have the financial means to visit a psychologist. They like to assert some sort of self-control to ensure they can act on their problems. In many cases, that is very helpful. If you want to do something about your mental health, sleeping more hours and keeping track of healthier food definitely does wonders. But, what’s the catch here?
Why self-help has its limits…
Let’s start a bit at the beginning. Psychology is a relatively new science and often discusses quite abstract topics. This makes it incredibly interesting, because it involves the complexity of human behavior, our minds, personalities, experiences and a lot more. Some things are easy to measure and factual, like putting your brain in a scan to see which areas light up during a certain activity. Other concepts are a bit harder to grasp, like how you measure love. Where I am going with this? Well… as a result of this complexity it is hard to state plain facts and give a one-size-fits-all truth. It is not like math, where one plus one clearly equals two.
Because psychology is not always a clear science and in essence abstract, it requires a very tailored approach to individuals when it comes to therapy and improving a person’s mental health. What works for one person does not necessarily have to work for another. There are a multitude of factors that influence the success of therapy. It is about openness to change, personality, the ability to reflect, life experiences, the existence of trauma, support systems and much more. Because of this, online articles and social media posts about psychology always have to be consumed in a cautious way.
To sum it up, self-help and self-care is at times useful but there are also some caveats. You have to take the following into account:
It is not always the solution to our problems. If you struggle with your mental health, a meditation or nice bath feels good, but it is not enough. They might put a temporary band-aid on the issue, but it is not a sustainable solution.
Mental health issues are complex to fix. Going through a trauma or suffering from a personality disorder is not something you just magically solve. It takes a lot of effort and time to figure out what is needed and how to improve.
It is not a substitute for therapy. Mental health struggles are a big challenge to deal with. You can put in the work, but often it is not possible to help yourself. Therapy can be essential to heal.
Too much self-care threatens our solidarity. Humans need others. If we all focus only on our own needs, we become too individual without being able to help others. Yes, it is important. But we should not forget taking care of others.
So, is it all useless?
No, definitely not. I would not be writing these bi-weekly newsletters and managing my Instagram page if I wouldn’t think it was helpful. I am all for people sharing psychology and mental health insights online. I am convinced that the biggest win has been that people feel less alone, because they understand better which psychological conditions exist. They are able to connect with people suffering from the same things. Next to this, it has helped with breaking taboos and stigma around several disorders. Many struggled in silence and were afraid to seek help, but because of online information they reached out to professionals. Ultimately, it has led to a great campaign to raise awareness about all these topics, so people can go to therapy or improve their mental health. And that is why I keep on going. I just want to urge you to keep the following in mind:
Check credentials. Don’t just accept what people share online as the truth by default. Figure out who they are and if they are licensed or accredited mental health professionals. Yes, coaches exist and they can be good, but not all. Many share wisdoms or truths that are not always useful or even problematic.
Reflect on your own situation. Having a bit of a bad day and want some easy tips how to feel better? Then some self-care advice can be useful. Dealing with complex trauma? In that case, read up about it but leave the actual therapy to the therapists and seek help.
Educate yourself. Do good research and check multiple sources when it comes to mental health advice. Read about these topics through books by psychologists. They are very interesting and can shed a lot of light on relevant topics.
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My name is Alf Lokkertsen and I am a psychologist and writer, creating mental health content for you. My passion is to raise awareness about topics related to psychology, as it has helped me greatly in my personal life. I strongly believe that many problems could be avoided or dealt with better if everyone had some in-depth psychology knowledge.
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