Issue #35: Identifying Your Emotions
Learn what it means to become more emotionally aware and why it is necessary to thrive
Dear mental health advocate,
I hope you had a great weekend, maybe you could even enjoy a long one (in the Netherlands we had a bank holiday yesterday). So, with probably a bit more rest than usual, you can read a new free version of The Present Psychologist Paper. In today’s issue I will discuss with you the importance of being able to identify the emotions you are feeling. It is vital to understand them and be aware of which ones exist, so it can help you deal with them. Want to find out more? Keep on reading!
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Identifying Your Emotions
What makes being human complicated? Well… many things. But one of the most interesting things about our humanity is the existence of our emotions. They are complex, nuanced, intense, amazing, horrible, impactful and much more. Our feelings can trigger so much, as they can cause our behavior to change. Emotions can be tied to our actions, sometimes they cause actions or sometimes they are a result of them. In many cases people always see our thoughts and our emotions as two opposing forces. You either ‘think’ or you ‘feel’. Being rational or emotional. While there are many discussions in psychology as well about these two concepts, in my opinion these are strongly intertwined.
Our thoughts and emotions influence each other quite a lot. They have a huge impact on each other. For example, imagine if you are experiencing fear because you notice a dangerous lion. The feeling is needed to trigger your defense and coping mechanisms, but we also use our thought processes to properly evaluate the situation: ‘Am I really in danger? How can I fix the situation and bring myself to safety?’ We often believe that we are very rational beings and our feelings are just secondary or less important. But they are actually vital. They generally signal something is happening, more quickly compared to having a full train of thoughts. Our body, in cases like when we suddenly see a dangerous lion, needs to know when to act quickly.
Emotional awareness
Unfortunately, in many places around the world people are being taught that emotions are not important, better to be avoided or even dangerous. Sure, our logical reasoning is very useful and has brought us very far as a society. But emotions are not a weakness. They exist for a reason. It frustrates me sometimes that especially men are being told not to show emotion or to hide it from others. This can lead to enormous mental health problems if they cannot find a way to express them. There should not be a fight or categorization between either ‘rational’ or ‘emotional’ people, because we need both very much. Imagine if the whole world only rational robots exist? Or what if no one can get anything done because all we do is feel without being able to think?
It would make the the world a better place if we learn to be more emotionally aware. Not only will this help with creating healthier behavioral patterns, but also with managing our tension and self-awareness. For some it might be difficult to imagine, but did you know many people cannot even properly identify their own emotions? As a result they try to push them away, creating tension and stress or a distraction, anything to not feel them. Some people resort to substance abuse or taking their emotions and frustrations out on others, any way really to avoid dealing with their feelings heads on. Actually, if you are able to be more emotionally aware, it becomes easier to deal with them, which creates space in your head to think more logically again.
How to become more emotionally aware?
Of course, becoming more emotionally aware is easier said than done. Ideally all children should be educated better on this, so healthier coping mechanisms are taught instead of avoiding feelings and pretending. But, I realize this is often not the case. So, there are different ways and models developed by psychologists and authors to help people with identifying their emotions. Many exist, but one in particular I find really helpful. Especially because if each classroom in the world would include this ‘emotions meter’, it would teach children in a healthy way to express and understand what they are feeling.
The model or emotions graph I am referring to is called the ‘mood meter’. It has been developed by Marc Brackett from the Yale Center of Emotional Intelligence. The reason why he developed it is because emotions are a very important source of information. For example, they tell us what we (dis)like in life, what we need and actually want. Emotions impact or life significantly, so being able to identify them can help you deal with them better.
Brackett developed a method based on this mood meter which includes the following steps:
Recognizing. Try to introspect and really focus on your thoughts and sensations. At first, try to place your feeling in this meter on any of the four color quadrants. Are you feeling more positive? Then look at the green or yellow one. More negative? Then look at the blue or red one. Also keep your energy levels in mind. Feeling high in energy? Look at the upper quadrants. Feeling low? Then look at the lower quadrants.
Understanding. It is crucial to start asking yourself why this particular feeling or emotion is occurring. Is it something that happened? Is there a trigger like a specific situation or moment? Is it because something happened when dealing with a person in your life?
Labeling. Look at the mood meter and try to find the word that best reflects what you are experiencing or feeling in that moment. Try to be specific and figure out why it is one of these feelings and not the one next to it. If it helps, write out the emotion and the reasoning behind it.
Expressing. Just understanding and labeling the emotion is not enough. Try to express what you are feeling (maybe without hurting other people on purpose). For example, it could help if you find a healthy outlet or person who you can talk to and get support from.
Regulating. Finally, it can help to thing about ways to cope with your emotions and feelings in the long run. Find a way to regulate the emotions. Try positive self-talk, yoga, mindfulness, exercising, breathwork, you name it!
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My name is Alf Lokkertsen and I am a psychologist and writer, creating mental health content for you. My passion is to raise awareness about topics related to psychology, as it has helped me greatly in my personal life. I strongly believe that many problems could be avoided or dealt with better if everyone had some in-depth psychology knowledge.
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