Issue #57: Feeling Inferior
Learn about having an inferiority complex and how you can manage it
Dear mental health advocate,
Have you ever dealt with the situation that you just keep on comparing yourself with others? And you always feel that you are worth less or just cannot keep up? It might mean you are feeling inferior. In today’s free edition of The Present Psychologist Paper I will explain about having an inferiority complex and how to best deal with it.
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The Inferiority Complex
Have you ever felt like you did not belong somewhere, because you thought you did not matter or because you considered yourself less than others? It could be the case that you dealt with (or are still dealing with) an inferiority complex. Before you self-diagnose yourself (always try to avoid this) I will explain to you what an inferiority complex actually is and how psychology looks at it. Personally, the term ‘inferiority complex’ is something I find that people often mention carelessly without actually understanding what it means or where it comes from. Everyone has been in a situation where they compared themselves to someone else and felt inferior. That does not mean it is chronic and a real complex.
Before I dive into the ins and outs, let’s look at the history of psychology. Because, there’s actually a lot of interesting information out there. Psychologist Alfred Adler (1870-1937) was a pioneer in his field and caused a shift in thinking about human behavior. While Freud was focused on internal conflicts, desires and instincts, Adler was also interested in investigating how external factors influences our behavior. And that’s where the inferiority complex comes in. Adler strongly believed that as infants, we come into the world so helpless, that we quickly feel inadequate and inferior. Children are new in their experiences, they have not been through much yet, so they still need to learn everything. Their parents/caregivers are their guides into the world.
Adler considered our first formative experiences to influence our goals and leads to the need for our parents’ approval. They know better, so as a child you want to fight for gaining that knowledge and having their skillsets too. Because as a child you are not there yet, you feel inferior and strive to not feel that way. They want to compensate for it by doing their best. If caregivers and parents nurture those feelings and care for them, then the child will take up the challenge and learn that their effort will lead to success. However, if the child fails and feels they cannot control their environment, they will keep feeling inferior, leading to the development of an inferiority complex.
What does an inferiority complex look like?
Adler thought that when children feel inferior, they try to work their hardest to not feel that way and overcompensate. This means that they become obsessive about meeting their goals (and so it becomes pathological). Because of their failure they develop a lack of self-esteem. They want to excel so badly and make their parents and themselves proud, but as perfection and excelling is difficult, they feel inferior all the time. According to Adler, children will always (also when they become adults themselves) strive to compensate for their feelings of inferiority. For some, this will lead to motivation, but for others it will dominate their thoughts and lead to feeling inadequate constantly.
These feelings will be intensified when people are discouraged or when they fail. So, when they have a lower status or any physical or mental limitation, inferiority will likely be felt more strongly. Modern psychologists are sometimes critical of Adler’s ideas, as it is hard to test and research his explanation of the inferiority complex. Instead, they have developed a more current view of what an inferiority complex looks like. Nowadays, it is seen as a concept when people chronically feel inadequate due to perceived (imaginary or real) shortcomings compared to others. Some signs would be:
Dealing with feelings of low self-esteem and struggling with confidence
Constantly comparing yourself with others thinking about what you do not have
Struggling with criticism and not taking it well
Overanalyzing praise and compliments from others (not believing it)
Being obsessed with getting validation from loved ones and others
Feeling insecure and trying to make others feel that too, so you feel less bad
Trying to avoid situations where you might be compared to others
Sometimes, trying to avoid people because you feel inadequate
What really caused it and what to do about it?
Modern psychologists believe that inferiority can be caused by several factors:
Your childhood. Sometimes if children grow up in a strict environment where they were constantly criticized for who they are and what they do, they might struggle with self-worth. Also, in some cases when the children were completely pampered and everything was taken care of, they might feel helpless and inadequate when they have to fend for themselves as adults.
Characteristics. When there are certain standards in a society, culture or environment and someone does not adhere to the norms, they can feel inferior. Think about someone who has a lower IQ than their peers or a different physique (not muscular, ‘too thin or too much weight’, etc.).
Status or economic circumstances. When people grow up poor or do not have the same financial means as others, they can struggle with feelings of inferiority. Especially if there are others in their surroundings that have a job that provides more status or financial means it can be tricky to navigate such feelings.
Although many of us deal with such comparisons and feelings of inferiority every now and then, it is not the same as suffering from consistently feeling inadequate. If you really consider yourself less than others it likely significantly impacts your happiness. Some tips what to do:
Seek out trauma therapy. As inferiority complex is often caused by adverse childhood experiences, therapy could be needed to process it all.
Practice positive self-talk. Tell yourself what you are good at, how nice you look today in the mirror, celebrate all the small wins and pat yourself on the back.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Sure, we all do this automatically, but count your own blessings and cherish what you have. There is always someone who has more than you, but also always someone who has less.
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My name is Alf Lokkertsen and I am a psychologist and writer, creating mental health content for you. My passion is to raise awareness about topics related to psychology, as it has helped me greatly in my personal life. I strongly believe that many problems could be avoided or dealt with better if everyone had some in-depth psychology knowledge.
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