Issue #3: Inheriting Trauma
Learn about intergenerational trauma, how toxic positivity harms people and adopting good sleeping habits
Dear mental health advocate,
Another two weeks have passed and it is time for some fresh psychology content! Today you hopefully will gain some more insights into a few interesting mental health topics in the third issue of The Present Psychologist Paper.
This new edition will discuss how experiencing trauma can lead to a snowball effect if it is not treated properly. Research shows that unresolved and often complex trauma can impact the affected person’s children and even generations after that. In psychology terms this is called intergenerational trauma.
Next, I will focus on a heated topic you might have heard of on social media or somewhere else: toxic positivity. Statements such as ‘good vibes only’ or ‘stay positive’ can be quite damaging, even though people might mean well. Why these words might be harmful? Find out below!
At the end we will dive a bit deeper into a factor frequently forgotten when we discuss how to boost our mental health: good sleeping habits. For example, did you know that 1 in 3 adults sleeps less than 7 hours while the recommended amount for adults actually is 7-9 hours? If you want to know how to improve your sleep, keep on reading…
Intergenerational Trauma: When Trauma Is Inherited
Going through a trauma can be a life-altering experience. It can impact someone for a very long time, with people describing themselves as being a completely different person before and after going through a traumatic encounter. Many psychologists research the causes, risk factors and consequences of psychological trauma to ensure we are better equipped to heal from it.
The difficulty with psychological trauma is that there are various circumstances that can lead to trauma and that each person reacts differently when they go through a traumatic experience. Some of them reach out for help to deal with their emotional suffering, but some do not. If someone does not work on healing their trauma, their body and brain will seek another way to release built-up tension.
This tension can lead to harmful patterns of behavior affecting both their own mental health and of those around them. For example, when a trauma survivor feels anger for going through a horrible event they might take it out on their loved ones. They then suffer too. Psychologists realized that trauma is not only experienced by the survivor, but is also extended to others in many situations. And these others are often children…
What is intergenerational trauma exactly?
Quite some time after World War II ended, around 1966, a psychiatrist named Vivian Morris Rakoff saw that many children of Holocaust survivors were suffering from psychological distress. This lead to a theory that the trauma a person goes through can be passed on to another generation that comes after them. When I think about this it makes sense. Why? Well…
Experiencing something traumatic for an extended period of time would make almost anyone suffer intensely. Imagine being mentally broken and then having children. It must be very difficult not to pass on a piece of this trauma. For instance, it can cause problems with expressing emotions to a child or being afraid to love them in case you will lose them. The child is then likely to be emotionally neglected with all its consequences.
Other psychologists further built on this theory of intergenerational trauma by continuing research. In 1988 a study was done to examine whether grandchildren of people who were subjected to extreme and prolonged stress suffered from psychological distress as well. They compared patients in a child psychiatric clinic and noted down whether their grandparents were either (i) Holocaust survivors, (ii) immigrants or (iii) native born.
The results were quite clear: the child patients with grandparents who survived the Holocaust were 300% more represented in the psychiatric clinic than would be expected compared with population estimates. In other words: it seemed likely that there was some connection between having grandparents who survived the Holocaust and suffering from psychological distress as a grandchild.
How is intergenerational trauma passed down?
While Holocaust survivors and their families have been studied the most, the effect of inheriting trauma could potentially apply to more trauma-related situations. The logic behind this: if a person suffers from trauma and especially when they have to endure it for a longer period of time, the effects of this trauma can be long-lasting too. Examples of these symptoms are depression, anxiety, shame, substance abuse and risky behavior.
Although the children of someone who has experienced trauma did not suffer the trauma themselves, they can still be impacted by it (secondary trauma). When the traumatized person has children the trauma can also affect them, as the parent still suffers from the trauma symptoms. Research shows that these parents may develop a neglectful or authoritarian parenting style or project the trauma onto their children.
As a result, the child develops some sort of a trauma themselves due to growing up with a traumatised parent. This can lead to a vicious cycle as these children can grow up in an environment feeling less safe than if their parents would not have experienced the trauma and can then pass this on to their own children again.
Who is vulnerable and what are risk factors?
We have just established that in theory each trauma can result in intergenerational trauma. Besides Holocaust survivors there are other situations and factors that can play a role in trauma development impacting multiple generations. Adversity that is experienced by large groups of people or various societal issues taking place in an extended period of time are known to contribute to intergenerational trauma.
There are numerous examples that apply to this situation. Another regularly explained phenomenon relating to intergenerational suffering is racial trauma. Slavery, policy brutality and racism have strongly affected Black, Indigenous and People of Color (BIPOC) for many, many years resulting in systemic oppression, extreme distress and sometimes poverty. Such circumstances impact multiple generations leading to the development of intergenerational, racial trauma.
A different situation with yet a similar devastating traumatic effect are natural disasters. Communities can lose so much as a result of an earthquake, tsunami or similar catastrophe. Think about the loss of life, families being ripped apart with often their houses completely destroyed. Examples of these are the earthquake in Haiti (2010) or the Indian Ocean tsunami (2004). While communities and humans are resilient, lack of sufficient financial resources and intense psychological distress can leave many generations struggling.
Intergenerational trauma symptoms and treatment
When it comes to intergenerational trauma, the symptoms are quite similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD):
Difficulty trusting others
Overactive fight-or-flight response
Debilitating anxiety
Panic attacks
Depression
Confidence issues
Sleep problems
What might be a bit different compared with PTSD is that with intergenerational trauma there are less flashbacks or reliving a ‘specific event’ due to the fact that children/grandchildren deal with a second-hand trauma experience (which can be very debilitating too). Also, it is likely that multiple generations in one family suffer from these symptoms while that is not necessarily the case with PTSD.
Looking at treatment of intergenerational trauma there are several options. As it is often trauma that happened over an extended period of time, it is considered complex trauma and involves multiple family members. Ideally there is a combination of individual therapy and family therapy if everyone is willing to attend.
Some final words on intergenerational trauma
Many psychologists are fairly certain that trauma can be inherited and passed down from generation to generation, creating a vicious cycle that can be difficult to break. However, as it has not been researched as thoroughly as general trauma yet and many different causes could lead to the potential onset of intergenerational trauma we will have to wait for more information. I am quite curious myself what answers further research will bring us.
If you want to read more about intergenerational trauma, I highly recommend the article ‘The Legacy of Trauma’ by the American Psychology Association. The authors provide a full overview of relevant studies and analyze how trauma could potentially be inherited.
The Curse of Toxic Positivity
Creating a social media account to raise awareness on mental health topics has taught me a lot of things. That there are great advocates, knowledgeable therapists, smart psychologists and inspiring people out there sharing amazing work and helping our cause. But, it taught me as well that there is a huge amount of harmful content online that actually sets mental health advocacy back to some degree.
One of these types of content I am talking about concerns so-called ‘toxic positivity’. What does that mean exactly? Basically, toxic positivity is some sort of mantra to always adjust your mindset or spin experiences into something positive. It tries to keep out everything that could be viewed as a negative attitude, negative emotions or to summarize: negative energy. A definition by Verywell Mind helps to understand it better:
Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. And while there are benefits to being an optimist and engaging in positive thinking, toxic positivity instead rejects difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful, often falsely positive, facade.
A frequently used example of toxic positivity is the statement ‘good vibes only’. At the time of writing this article I checked Instagram and the hashtag #goodvibesonly has been used 15.4 million times! For some these statements might seem harmless and I understand the reasoning for that. Being positive is good right? Definitely. But only to a certain extent. It makes it easier to explain better why toxic positivity can be so damaging if I first share some positive statements that can turn out to be toxic.
Examples of toxic positivity
At first glance it might be difficult to spot if a sentence or statement is just positive or more toxic positivity. What makes it even more challenging is that a few of them are considered harmful by some, but not by others. I guess it is safe to say that empathy and emotional intelligence play an important part in how you interpret them. Below a list of examples:
‘Happiness is a choice’
‘Just stay positive’
‘It happens for a reason’
‘You will get over it’
‘Think of happy things!’
‘Good vibes only…’
‘It could be worse’
‘Don’t be so negative!’
‘Crying won’t solve anything’
As an exercise you can go through each statement and think to yourself: why could saying this potentially be hurtful? Or, you could ask yourself: how would I feel if these statements were said to me? I mentioned before that not everyone will feel the same about these and that is perfectly fine. Also if you meant well by saying these, the intention matters too. It’s not a black-or-white situation. What I hope to achieve with this article though, is to share why these words could be hurtful or damaging.
Why can these statements be damaging?
The biggest issue with toxic positivity is that it tries (sometimes even unintentionally) to erase all the negative emotions and experiences we have and feel. Having a positive view towards life is commendable and very important, because optimism has been proven to increase quality of life and overall happiness. But, trying to spin everything into a positive thing is problematic as it invalidates people and what they go through.
Life is complex. It is not linear and only upwards, instead there are highs and lows. These ups and downs are what makes us human. In pain and adversity there can be growth. Going through negative emotions can also make you learn more about yourself better and it is a necessity to heal. Throwing around these statements stands in the way of someone’s authenticity that they should be allowed to have. It shames them into believing that their emotions are not allowed.
With all of that said, let’s unpack these statements why these specifically are better left unsaid:
‘Happiness is a choice’: this implies that if you do not feel good, it is your own fault because you can choose not to feel bad.
‘Just stay positive’: this statement tries to indicate that a negative mood is not a valid option. Being optimistic is good, but it is also okay if you are not.
‘It happens for a reason’: if this is said, then it sounds like a negative experience or event was meant to be and so it is not so bad after all?
‘You will get over it’: even though time can heal wounds, sometimes it does not and it tries to diminish the current experience. Pain is real.
‘Think of happy things!’: this suggests that negative feelings can disappear by being positive. While it can help, avoiding feelings stands in the way of healing.
‘Good vibes only…’: this basically says that if you don’t feel well or struggle you are not welcome, so you are not allowed to bring your authentic self?
‘It could be worse’: though trying to ‘lighten’ your pain, comparing should not be done as it invalidates the experience someone has.
‘Don’t be so negative!’: similar to the good vibes one, this statement expresses the need to fake your emotions and push negative feelings away.
‘Crying won’t solve anything’: this last one insinuates that there are supposedly better ways to deal with issues than crying (while it is actually a valid response!)
What should I say then?
Empathy and saying the right thing can be very challenging, especially when someone goes through something terrible. Know that one of the most crucial things in a situation like that focuses on ensuring you hear someone out and say you are there for them. Don’t tell them how to feel, provide a listening ear instead. Really don’t know what to do? Maybe use some of these:
‘You are not alone, I’m here’
‘Please know that I care about you’
‘If you want to talk about your struggles, you can.’
‘I’m listening. You matter to me’
‘I’m so sorry this happened to you. Is there any way I can help?’
Proper Sleep: How Good Habits Can Help
The weird thing about sleep is that everyone does it, everyone needs it, but I feel that people don’t really talk about the importance enough when it comes to keeping a sane mind. Proper sleep is essential to protect your physical and mental health. But, statistics by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) show that around 1 in 3 US adults sleep less than the recommended 7-9 hours a night. There are also between 50-70 million people in the US dealing with a sleep disorder.
If you consequently do not get the right amount of sleep each 24-hour cycle, you are at risk for developing certain diseases faster like type 2 diabetes, obesity, cardiovascular disease and mental health disorders such as depression. So, hopefully this stresses the importance of ensuring enough sleep. Not every sleep disorders is fixed easily, but there are definitely some tips and habits you can incorporate in your daily sleep routine to improve.
Which habits impact sleep negatively?
Although everyone has their own circadian rhythm due to individual differences and genetic predisposition, there are some habits that in general impact sleep negatively. Below is a list of these habits that can hinder a proper sleep:
Checking your phone in bed before you go to sleep. The lights from the screen tell your brain that they should be awake while instead sleep-inducing hormones should be triggered when you are in bed.
An irregular sleeping schedule. Not keeping the same sleeping schedule and going to bed at different times influences our circadian rhythm negatively, as it makes it harder for our body to realize when it should be tired or not.
Alcohol/caffeine/food right before bed. Alcohol prevents you to go into a deep sleep, caffeine makes it more difficult to fall asleep and food is harder to digest when lying down. Then your body needs to work harder, ultimately preventing a good sleep.
Exercising intensely right before bed. If you do an intense workout, your body releases endorphins, raises body temperature and potentially increases cortisol. This will not improve your chances of sleeping easily, as your body and brain are ‘too awake’ because of exercising.
Which habits impact sleep positively then?
There are plenty of things you can do to try and make it easier to sleep the right amount of hours and also to sleep deeply enough. Find below some more general tips and habits on how to feel fresh and stay healthier because of a good night’s rest:
Ensuring enough exercise during the day or not later than 2 hours before going to bed.
Reading a book in bed, it reduces stress and avoids overthinking your troubles.
Keeping a consistent sleeping schedule by trying to go to bed and wake up at set times.
Drinking chamomile or tea with valerian regularly helps to fall asleep more easily.
Having a quiet, dark bedroom with the right room temperature. Research shows between 60 and 67° F (15.5 and 19 °C) is the best option.
A nap is fine, but try to keep naps during daytime below 30 minutes, otherwise it could interfere with your rhythm.
A healthy diet not involving too much refined sugars, alcohol or caffeine (especially right before bed).
Try a few of these out to see if your sleep improves! If it doesn’t, a sleep specialist or clinic can help with sleep disorders or provide other relevant advice. I noticed myself that my productivity and emotional health really improved after focusing on some proper sleeping habits.
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My name is Alf Lokkertsen and I am a psychologist and writer, creating mental health content for you. My passion is to raise awareness about topics related to psychology, as it has helped me greatly in my personal life. I strongly believe that many problems could be avoided or dealt with better if everyone had some in-depth psychology knowledge.
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This is excellent work you are doing. I am a psychiatrist, in fact, who is now working in history and politics. The world needs deep understanding of attachment, loss, grief, and intergenerational transmission of trauma. Great work.